• Result of Love is Death
I was sentenced to death a while ago. My sentence will be carried out in the fastest time in the world. I was the judge in this trial, I was a witness against me. I am also responsible for enforcing the sentence. I do not agree to call my death suicide. I made this decision in a very cold head. After thinking for two days in a row, I could not find any reason for my own survival.
If someone is not qualified for a job, then the rule is to resign. I did a lot of calculations and saw that I was not fit for the world. For this, I sat in the court today and heard the verdict. Even if you don't resign, you have to retire at some point. Both are the same thing. My wife Sapphire loves to find reason in everything. According to him, now is the time to resign. Now I'm just waiting for the sentence to take effect.
I read in an article that death is the most painful thing. All this research seems to me to be nothing more than a Gaza-eating thing. Has anyone come after dying in ten ways and said, brother ... believe me, I tried to kill him in all ways and saw that it is more difficult to hang. No matter how you die, don't hang yourself.
As much as all nonsense research.
I lost my job. Along with the job, the wife is also Hawa.
After seven years of love, the relationship of the wife, who had been married for three years, was probably more about my job than mine. Is this incident called 'wife's escape from the job' or 'job escape from the wife's hand'?
I don't have much time. Now is not the time to joke. Not only did my wife leave, but my father abandoned me.
There are enough reasons to dismiss me. I stole four and a half lakh rupees from my father and ran away. I get money from my father. My motives were not bad at all, the partner was bad. If the business was going well, I could return my father's money in two years. The partner fled with the money. Dad lost the money he had saved all his life and had a mild stroke. Then returning from the hospital dismissed me as the first job.
I lost my job a week ago. There is a movement against the MD of the office. Everyone made me a leader. I gave a warm speech, everyone clapped their hands. It was too late for me when I realized that the movement is not in the face, it is in the head. The MD solved all the problems in a moment. I was fired for taking the lead. The man who encouraged me the most got a three-step promotion and sat down in my chair the next day with a smile on his face.
He smiled up to his ears and said, "Good sir, don't be upset, brother." God is the owner of Rizik. There was an invitation to my house at night. Bhabire nia aines but. My wife invented a new dish. Chicken fry with kachu lati mash. Absolutely nectar.
My wife can't be blamed either. At the moment I am in debt of seven and a half lakh rupees. Will have to leave home next month. No job, no way to go anywhere.
Sapphire called me last night and said, good luck to you all. What to do now?
I said I would suicide.
Sapphire said in a simple voice, you should die. But don't call it suicide, resign yourself, voluntarily remove yourself from life.


- Who will voluntarily leave life.
- You're dying, what should I do? Cohabitation with you?
- No.
- There is no road in front of you. As a human being, you are the ultimate fool, you have gone after money in your life and you have been caught again and again. Never thought of giving me time. I didn't feel the need to take any advice. Am I right?
- Yes.
- What should I do now?
- Divorce me.


Sapphire said, sorry. I have no desire to divorce you. I'm with you for the last time today. Going to my father's house will not be profitable. I will not be there. My number will also be closed. I want to hear the news that you have successfully worked at least once in your life ... by dying. Do you want to tell me something
I said no.
I don't know why Neela's hard words didn't touch me.

 I stuck a blue veil with the fan. Examining the tension seemed to be enough to take my weight. There will be only a few incidents of hanging with the veil. My carotid artery will rupture. Then the brain will explode. Part of a bone on my shoulder will break. This will cause the nerve to become detached from the head. I can't raise my hand even though I want to because of him.


Surprisingly, I have no fear. I read yesterday how a hanged man dies. I need to know the process of my death.
I moved away from under the fan. I have a lot of work to do before I die. Write a suicide note. Sapphire has repeatedly told me not to make the mistake of doing this before I die. This must be done just before hanging.
Sapphire will get in trouble if you don't write notes. I did not give him less pain while he was alive, there is no point in giving him pain after death.
My death is not suicide, Sapphire said. Since my death was through trial, there is a thing called my last wish.


I stood in front of the mirror on my dressing table and said, Mr. Shubh, what is your last wish?
I answered myself, I want to smoke a cigarette. It will take ten minutes.
- Granted.
I grabbed a cigarette. Mother died 11 years ago. The mother's face has disappeared from sight. I haven't talked to my father for a long time. Should they think about it before they die?
I dropped their thoughts. I don't want to bring emotions before death.
According to the calculations, I will go to hell. Of course, even if I die normally, I have very little chance of going to paradise. I have never done a good job. I also took the thought of religion out of my head.
I have never done anything for the Creator, what can I ask of the Creator?
The logic does not say that. Life goes on in logic, it's Neela's thing.
Can I listen to any songs at the last minute? Listening to music will kill me, a great thing.
No separation religious songs can be heard.


Such as 'When I'm not there, keep me in mind' or 'If someone breaks the bond, why does Kadis mind'.
The world of Bengali music is unique in this respect, there is no shortage of songs of separation.
I canceled the human thought of listening to music.
Ten minutes passed. I have only one job left. Write a suicide note ... sorry resignation letter. Letter of resignation from life.
I took out the diary from the drawer. I took out a leaf in the middle and was startled.
Neela's handwriting - "Wow, no less courage, are you going to commit suicide? Write the note a little later, go and look behind the dressing table mirror ...
My head is not working. Why is Neela's writing in my diary? I put my hand behind the mirror as if fascinated. A bouquet of flowers came out. The flowers are in a slightly wilted state. Flowers probably two or three days earlier. A paper came out of here. A phone number on paper.
Sapphire writes, Bay will die after wisdom. Call this number first.
I called with the phone in hand.
I could not say anything just received. My eyes began to water.
Sapphire and I are sitting in the back of a van and eating phukka.
I could not execute my sentence. Sapphire just called to come here. I don't know how I got here.
Sapphire looked at me and said with a smile, does that really mean death has been attempted?
-Huh.
- Well, you idiot, you haven't listened to any of the good deeds I've suggested in your life, have you ever heard of dying?
I said, Sapphire, I have no way to go, this is the only way. That's the decent thing to do, and it should end there.


Sapphire said, no reason not to say so. There is a difference between resigning and fleeing. Resignation can be supported, not fleeing. The cowards run away from the problem. Real people go into problems and find solutions. Closing the road in life does not mean the end of the journey, only a temporary break for the journey. Just when one road in life closes, another road opens. Then you just have to wait to find a new way.
I said, but you said that if someone is not qualified for a job, he should leave.
Sapphire said, I said, I said wrong on purpose. Job and life are not one. You can join the job at your own will, you can also resign at your own will. There is no such thing as joining one's own will in life. You have to go according to the will of the one you have come to. The logic says so.
- Huh.
- Then think. Who did you go to die for?
For the job, for the money and for me ... is this it?
Do you think your office would be closed to your grief if you died? I cried when you died, believe me. But how long is that?
One month, one year. Then I would find my way. For two years I used to sit here holding someone else's hand and eat phuchka. Does the logic say so?
- Yes.
I said in silence for a while, but Sapphire, if I didn't get your writing in a crooked way, I would have died by now. What a surprise that your writing is on the page of the diary that I took out. If I missed this page, I would have hung up for so long. I would go to the postmortem tomorrow.
Sapphire smiled and said, there is no chance to be missed. There are no papers in your house except two diaries. I have written the same thing on every page of these two diaries.
I looked at Neela in surprise.
Sapphire said, almost every person who commits suicide writes a note. I had full faith that you would read my writing as soon as you went to write the note. And in that special state of the brain, every person who commits suicide finds the hope of survival, albeit subconsciously. No one will miss such a trust. The logic says so.
I said, but still a little more risk? What if I didn't write notes, or looked for other paper to write notes on?
Sapphire smiled sweetly and said, you have to take some risk to get you in line.
A round hat on my head at the moment. Sapphire just bought me this.
According to Neela, I am a very frustrated person, the first thing that comes to my line is to do religious deeds. Besides, there is no possibility of peace in my life.
According to Neela's plan, we will go to the village next week and fall on my father's feet. Sapphire says she will manage her father anyway. The task is very difficult but still wants to believe him. There is no way not to believe him who has done so much.
I have no money in my hand, a loan of seven and a half lakh rupees. Sapphire says not to worry about this. We are walking on the sidewalk at night. I know why everything seems so beautiful.
Sapphire said, you have never loved life. Once you have come back from the brink of death. Can I now hope to love life anew? Exclude running after money?
I said, of course you can expect.
Sapphire said, I'm sorry to take such a big risk with your life. But there was nothing that you did to cause it.
I laughed and said, of course, the logic says so.
Sapphire said, I love you impossible without any argument. You don't know that
A truck followed us and blew its horn.
I said, do you see how sweet the hydraulic horn of the truck sounds today? It seems to be a sweet melody like Rory Shankar Babu's flute.
He blushed and said, Ravi Shankar did not play flute, he was stupid. Didn't find a place to lie without knowing?
I said, Sapphire, have you noticed one thing? The Creator is not cruel to the bad people of the world. Donate something nice.
Sapphire said, then ..
I frowned and said, how great a gift can you think of to find someone like you in the life of a man like me?
Sapphire smiled, I smiled too.
There is no witness in this time of extreme happiness in our lives.
Sorry.